Signs of times

It is a past time of mine to take photographs of signs and notices. They are often sources of hilarity and some of them even make you want to meet the person who put up the sign. Somehow in my mind, they will have amazing trivia knowledge about comic books, will get all my obscure pop cultural references and we sing songs of merriment through the streets adhering to the standards of bollywood choreography.

Anyways, on to a few that has caught my eyes lately:

This tells me some awesome things about my colleagues. Yep, the sign was on the door of one of the ladies bathrooms in our office.

Somewhere in Nokia House is a chicca who knows her He-Man and has an amazing sense of humour. Future BFF, where are you?

Now, I am not sure if I want to be buddies with this person, but something tells me I better be, or else....

And if you are a Alto University student, this actually might be an innovative ad for a few swimming lessons, but why take the chance? Do the dishes.

However, the person who wrote the above must be good buddies with the person who wrote this one. Or it might be a frazzled teacher from Alto University. Or both.

Now, this is one sign that will always be close to my heart - this was done by a friend of mine on her last day in Helsinki around her neighborhood. You always made me feel mahtava, Candy.

Excuses Galore

The past few days, Ive been visiting Murphy on and off.

First my laptop crashed. Then my personal laptop got such a viral attack that it was virtually sneezing and leaving goo all over my home. Then my colleagues laptop, which he kindly loaned to me, crashed. I guess I turned to Magneto for a day...

Upside: 1.5 days of unintended holiday.

Downside: Work being piled up. I hate not ticking off things on my TO-DO list, and the thought of all the work not done kind of took the sheen away from the dont do anything and stay home period.

Been to Rome. Been to rock climbing and I love the feeling of falling. The feeling of my limbs aching over the next two days, not so much. But still, will, go again.

May travel again next week, related to work. So it remains to be seen how much of blogging will be done. However my passport is with the US Embassy - I finally got the visa! - so need to pick it up for the travel. No biggie.

Ive not told you about the Manticore and his girlfriend, have I? Seems like her best friend is finally ready to tell us about them. This looks promising.

Home sweet home

I got a new place yesterday and I will be moving over there on May 15th. yay!

The relocation agency did not help.at.all. I found the link to this place in our company intranet ( with help from JS ) and fixed up a meeting with the owner. After one hour, we shook hands and decided to take the place.

Let me blow a raspberry now to the imbecile who told me to take an apartment which was way over my budget and was angry when I didn't.

Let me blow a bigger, nastier one to my landlady, who tells me one thing and the imbecile another and is yet to pay a part of my money back. I pay for insurance so that you get protected? Pbbbt!

And let me give a virtual hug to the girl who offered me her home to stay put till the drama is over, and who kept reminding me that the imbecile is, after all, supposed to take care of my needs, and is supposed to serve me. Guess who is going to be complained about?

And yes, there will be a house warming party with a very few chosen personal friends. We don't have too many bottles of French wine to pass around, people!

Back again...

After almost a month ( so much for a new year resolution of blogging every three days) I am back here.

The upside of not blogging for so long is having a lot of things to write about.

The downside of not blogging for so long is having a lot of things to write about.

I could, for example, blog about how much spam I receive in my Yahoo account - so much, so that certain regulars like Editor Bob and Carmen, trying to make me buy medicines which will enlarge body parts I don't have, email me more frequently than many of my friends.

Or else, I could take the lazy way out and post some pictures here of the Sweden trip that me, BR and BT took.

Else I can blog about BT. How for two years, even though we lived pretty close, she was just a random chick for me. How joining the same company has made me see a different side of her, and how now she is one of the few people who's comments I take time to think about, and try acting upon.

Or about the new bunch of Indians, whom we met here, who were helpful and ready with a thousand tips.

Or about the adventure of living alone; with no parents, no flatmates, not even that staple of all Indian homes - a बाई ( bai = female servant) - to help you out.

About some of the most well mannered and beautiful looking people I have even seen. Sadly, this place has more women ( who are mostly hot looking) than men...

About seagulls with attitude.

About the dogs and kids around here. well mannered, throwing tantrums at times.

About keeping in touch with friends back home.

About my fear of winter.

About a beautiful city.

But I think I have made my come back post now... :)

Nothing but the truth...

Why did I not blog for almost a month?

I was making a note of all pubs I will visit in a few months time...


In a beautiful country which may adopt me...


After discovering infinite shades of blue and green,


I went to a dusty place in Mumbai, where monkeys chased me and my friends like vampires in some B grade movie...

We had to run shout and throw stones at the simians. Sorry SPCA; it was either fight or flight.

Then sleep, eat, sleep, gossip... some days of lazing around with one's gal pals...

Oh... did I tell you about the rafting days thanks to my employer? Bless them all!


After the travel, it was back to work... some more meetings, catching up with friends, some good and not so good movies...

Now after another trip to College Street where second hand book sellers invite me to ferret into their hordes and hand me their mobile numbers; where they had me profiled so much that they know exactly what price I will give them,

I guess I have answered life's call.

Let me have those experiences for myself. I wont be sharing them with you; well - atleast for now.

You want to see more pics, let me know.

And yeah, I know the formatting sux. :-)

To a land far, far away.

When I joined my company, an international assignment at the end of one year was pretty much a given. We knew this was going to happen, were indeed looking forward to it. Now, more nearer to the departure, I was having a conversation with another management trainee. She was not feeling happy about having to be outside India for 18 months.

"You might be happy as you never care about go home and don't have anyone here. I will get married next year or the year after that. I have a life here. My family, friends... I am more mainstream than you."

Ouch. I thought about her remark, so offhandedly cruel, all the more because it was not intended to hurt. I don't have a boyfriend, I am not that close to my family. So what is there for me to miss?

That day, I went home and started thinking about why I was not happy about leaving. I don't have any friends here. I don't have much fun in Kolkata. Still, I was feeling bad that I have to pack my bag's to Santa's land.

I wont have to deal with littered streets or rude people there. No sticky sweat or commotions. Peace and happiness and high quality living.

I would have preferred a much more crowded place. I love human beings - watching them hustle and bustle around me. I love the roadside food and the second hand book shops that you can find almost at every street in Kolkata. I am will miss the fact that I can fly to my friends over a weekend.

I am going to miss the riot of colours in this country. I will miss the spring and summer. I will miss the monsoon, the rumbling of the skies. I will miss the fact that by taking a cheap flight, I can escape into the extreme opposite of whichever climate I am experiencing in this country.

I never knew I loved this country this much. Patriotism is not a word that I want to use. It is not about my country greatest. It is about something that is so inclusive, so cheap in its riches, so varied in its sins and nirvana...

Happy fish, sad fish

I miss Chennai.

The udupi hotel food, the low priced fruit shakes, the sea and the besant nagar sea bridge, the east cost road, the friends i had there, satyam theatre and Spencer plaza, the rains, the bike rides....

I miss Kerala.

The backwaters, the greenery in lavish abandon, the fish, the food, the underrated malabari biriyani with an egg, onion raita and yummy lemon pickle, the different pickles and fried tapioca, jackfruit, and what not, mashed tapioca, esoteric mallu breakfast of puttu, payar, kozhukatta, ada, jackfruits, various kinds of bananas, elephants, Rs 30 movie tickets...

I miss Jamshedpur.

The running into terabytes online movie collection, the roadside food experiences, the nights where i learnt to dance, the few friends and many acquaintances, the campus dogs, the beautiful streets and the houses, the riverside....

I miss Gurgaon.

The people in that office, the friends I have left there, the movies, the shopping malls, the hep eating and drinking holes, the all night parties, the all night drinking and talking sessions with work friends....


I will miss Kolkata.

College street, city centre, the old dilapidated houses, the white jamun, the roadside snacks whose name I always keep forgetting, the work, the responsibility that made me grow up....

I don't miss Chennai.

The dirt. The lack of water. The sweat.

I don't miss Kerala.

The leching men with hands like the tentacles of Medusa, who grope and grope and grope - till you either hit back or move away if possible. The apathy of the people around me. The pseudo intellectual crap of the arm chair activists which somehow irks more than the blatant commercialization of other cities.

I don't miss Jamshedpur.

The trying to fit in. The trying to be overly loyal and patriotic. The trying to put friendships and personal opinions above what needed to be said and done. The most times phony feeling of belonging.

I don't miss Gurgaon.

The feeling of being shouted at. The conflict between wanting my life back and not wanting to hurt my friends. The inability to again, take a stand for losing a friend. The overpriced everything.

I wont miss Kolkata.

The lack of friends. The people who try to make me dole out more just because I earn more. The selfishness and self centeredness of people whom I have met, interacted with, and who still think that they are doing me a favour. The lack of a shoulder to lean on at time, for sometimes professional and mostly non-professional guidance.

What do you look for in a job?

He looked at me, smiled in a slightly uncertain manner, and asked.

I looked up to his face, shining with the unshaken faith in business school friendships, senior/junior bonding and the fact that one year experience make me qualified to give him gyaan.

Run faccha run! Completing one year is about the beginning of selfdoubts, of paranoia, of delusion and hopefully some amount of self realization. We have started on the ride, give us some more time before you as us these questions, lest I shake your faith in the great B School ringmarole - a.k.a the campus placements.

I was in enemy territory. Atleast, according to my juniors, my clan which I had left one year back. I was asked to take lesser students from that campus, to show my loyalty to our blood.

But then I like them a lot.

Like them, may be much more better than the ones from my clan. Like them, as they seems to be more accepting of the fact that la vida es una perra, and still laugh at it. Like them, as they were introduced by a good friend / colleague.

So I was there, being friendly and professional at the sametime - which means smiling a monalisa smile when they ask about who all got the shortlist, nod sympathetically when they come and speak greatly about a friend of theirs who would absolutely love to get into our company - nod and smile, instead of scrowling at them or divulging any information, and intentionally blanking my mind to all the marketing done for the candidates by their friends.

And what did I look for in a job?

I told him this:

A chance to fatten my cv. Some call it getting exposure, but I connect it to the final outcome. I dont want to put anything on my cv which I cannot claim as mine or which I cannot speak about knowledgably, so that means grabbing opportunites and accepting them when offered.

So that if in the future I have to choose my personal life over my company - without zilch personal life, I dont see that happening anytime soon - I can pick and choose what I want to do and where I want to be.

I did not tell him this:

Fun. This is a no-brainer. If I am doing something ten hours a day, I better have fun doing that. This means being challenged, appreciated, ragged, teased - I guess a better word would be to feel alive.

Family. I think that more and more, I substitute my work colleagues for my friends and well wishers. Well, atleast a significant chunk of them anyway.

I dont feel as if I am part of my old clan anymore. I am in touch with a lot of them - and many of my good friends are from there, but I value them as individuals than them having the same brand as I do. There are a lot in that group whom I have already forgotten. And I guess I have found a new label to belong to. I know that even this may not be permanant, but as of now, I am fine with it.

Of wimps and humans..

Whoever said that corporate life doesn't have its moments of humour would have never worked in an office.

During the placement season, companies get into the mad frenzy of upping the salaries. Coming from one of the better branded HR courses means that people who never even bothered to keep in touch will call you up one day.



The conversation would go like this. The protective arms around any set of words chronicle my mental audio at that time.



Me: Hello? ( Who is this? I hope I sound polite enough, busy enough and cheerful enough to steer my conversation whichever way).



XYZ: Hiiii... How are you doing? Long time no see....



Me: I'm okay... ( I cant say I'm fine - what if I get more work to do? I cant say I am NOT fine - what if on the other side its my parents who think that marriage is the cure all for not feeling fine due to whichever reason? ) ... Err.. who is this? ( Did I forget to update the phone number of ANY of my friends? )



XYZ: ( In his/her best hurtful tone ) Whaat? Its me! XYZ!!! ( more hurtful accusations follow which I ignore while reading through the latest fwd from my colleagues. Ha ha! that 5th cartoon is sooo funny...)



Me: ( After realizing that XYZ has stopped) So... why did you call me? ( Alrighty then, you were never close to me / liked me much and suddenly developed that lovin' feelin' for me? Huh! So cut the crap and cut to chase, shall we? )



XYZ: Hey! How much is your company offering students on campus?



ME: 8.2 lpa I think. ( I think means that I don't know / choose not to know /and even if my friend did tell me how much we are going to pay, I deliberately erased it from my memory a la Kate Winslet in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind ( more on that movie one of these days.. remind me to talk about it..) )



XYZ: Oh!! My friend wanted to apply to your company...



Me: ( I don't mind you being rude or nasty upfront - at least, not as much as when you turn wimp and bitch about me behind my back or drop idiotic lies. Its better and manly/womanly to tell me upfront that you need the info for your company - or give no excuses.)
Really? Which B School is he from? What is his background? Doesn't he have a campus?
( In that borderline tone which can be interpreted as burning sarcasm or high officialdom. This is the moment I really love - when they squirm, when they blabber and stammer.)



XYZ: Eh.. cant hear you.. bye...



Me: Sure! Call whenever your 'friend' need any info... ( dip.. dip.. dip... that sound my friend, is sarcasm oozing out from my words and dipping to XYZ's ears when he/ she slams he phone down.)



Did the good deed for the day - didn't we?


Wish I could have posted a *.mp3 of the conversation here!

Feel free to ask me information - but atleast lets be honest about what you want! Follow the example of the apainter boy who calls, asks and accepts whatever I tell him without any hemming or hawing.

Prayer to Catbert

Oh Lord almighty Catbert, evil and HR incarnate, help me to manipulate my line humans
When they come to me and complain, let me always be able to deflect the blame onto other lesser mortals

Let me be able to get the better of mediocre services provided by vendors common to all employees by saying "I am from HR" in an ominous voice

Let me be assigned to the hardworking teams, so that I too will get the glory when they do some work, and will not be affected when those morons fail

Let me be reaping the rewards, and never have to sit for any appraisals ( except to kill them slowly)

Amen.