Rules of Engagement

What do you do when you are just up after a 30 hr blitzkrieg of fever, feeling like you feel after 7 shots of tequila but without the happy buzz and fatigue?

Why, you try to read your feeds, email and tweets. And then looking at the pileup which kind of resemble Mumbai peak hour traffic jams, realize that it’s time for a bit of cleaning up. I have a job and interests outside the internet, so...

So, let me present to you my rules for the social networking sites that I frequent:

Facebook/Friendfeed/Orkut:
#1. I don’t know you, I don’t add you. Doesn’t knowing you mean I don’t know your real name, what you do for a living, whether you are likely to have any criminal charges against you.
#2. I have heard of you, but if your name does not invoke a friendly feeling in me, I don’t add you.
#3. Only exception to above rule is if we have been class mates or if you have been my direct senior / junior in the various educational institutions that I spent time in.

Google Reader:
#1. I follow the website if it makes me laugh or provide info that I find interesting. Personal relationships don’t matter - sorry!

LinkedIn:
#1. I add you if we belong/ed to the same organization / educational institution / LinkedIn group / if I will/have something professional to offer you or vice versa.

Dopplr:
#1. I add you if we are colleagues / friends.

Twitter:
#1. You are my friend / colleague and I find you fascinating enough to stalk you 24x7. (Let’s face it people, Twitter is a sanitized stalking medium for people who want to stalk and people who like the attention. Just a little bit. Without the scary parts.)
#2. I can't understand what you are posting - be it links, be it @ messages to others. And if you keep on @ messaging others, 5/10 wrt your latest posts and I will be walking away
#3. I don’t know your a/s/l, but love your tweets and the tinyurls that you provide.
#4. You tweet as any of my fav fictional characters.
#5. You are a celebrity who actually tweets by yourself. WTG, Shaq!
#6. You are a tweet feed for a political leader / office, of a country which I find interesting.
#7. You update at least once a week. Unless your FQ (fascination quotient - what were you thinking?) is high in my book, I will remove your feed. Sorry about being so uppity about having a clean twitter feed. Im into minimizing stuff in my life these days.

And I follow these rules too.

Yes, I know this comes across as /add your fav adjective for me now here / as hell, but hey, it’s my life, and how I spend it is my prerogative.

Let me get back to my blankets and giant teddy bear now. Being sick sucks.