Filler

Life, as of now is....

... of telling stories. For fun, necessity and by compulsion. Arabian Nights redux? May be. Or may be not.

... about making my moral compass - for the time being, at least - a comic book about Anti Christ which says : 'First, do no harm.'

... about expanding my freedom by letting go of a lot of baggage, allowing my feelings to wash over me like a wave without loosing my footing and flirting a bit with my fears.

... about keeping my mouth shut about myself, my work and the problems of others.

... of being doubted by someone about something which I didnt do. why do people assume that their petty self deceptions interest me? Amuse, yes. Interest enough for me to get involved, no.

... of vivid images inside my head and hazy talk inside my ear.

Am I happy? Yes. Completely.

Could I be happier? Definitely.

And so, life is good.

Happy times

I feel happy. Actually, I feel happier.

So what caused it?

well...

The viral campaign over the new batman movie, maybe? Love the fact that someone finally got it right. You can read about it here.

The sun. The sun is so bright that it is almost like a divine presence. May be this is a day when the gods walk the earth, at least in Finland

The top gear sound tracks. Edgy enough without loosing the happiness.

A walk, soon to be had, through my favorite walking route.

New friends.

A horde of books home, from the public libraries.

And two days of weekend.

What more do I want?

The newest words of angel

Am reading Brida.

From a website.

Of the publisher, which complied with the authors wishes.

An author who encourages piracy.

An author, who is 60 plus and yet is younger than many of us.

As I feel more alive than before, what better book to start on than the story of a woman who wanted to learn more?

And it happens again.

Metamorphosis

After one of my so called bouts of stupidity, I have decided to quit being a nice Indian girl, and live life a bit on the edge.

No, this does not mean bungee jumping - Im still afraid of falling.

This means that my inner Charlotte will be making way for Samantha. Ive been too mice, too naive, and now Im out to have my pound of fun and some more.

As a Charlotte, I was an incurable romantic, willing to put the other person before me, and thinking up excuses in my head for them.

As Samantha, I can be myself, kick men in the ass when they try to play me, and just have fun being myself.

And if and when I find some one really, really special, I might let Charlotte out a bit, now and then.

Mission : Impossible

So I was told that I will finally make my parents proud: I will go to US of A; and that too, New York.

Coming from a land full of engineers and doctors, USA is considered as the promised land. There were many who wondered aloud that they have never heard of a state in US called Finland. "Surely you don't mean Cleaveland?" They queried.

If you cannot go to India, the next best option is to go to USA to meet with family and friends. Friends from the past, their counterparts, new friendships in the making, new circles to be forged. Relations. to meet a nephew by blood, a brother in law I have never met face to face, to meet other smaller nephews and neices by love; stronger than the blood bonds.

Also, the chance to have some real sun, a real holiday. With friends. Wine tasting in Napa, shopping, the beaches, the museums, treks, hikes and shopping some more.

I am what they call wheatish in Indian matrimonial columns. I call myself dusky, with pride, and there were many times when i saw ( to borrow a red Indian term) the pale faces look at me and my tanned skin with envy. So in the morning when I stepped out to go to the embassy, and in the tram when a Nordic God with deep blue eyes and hair like the shining sun asked me if I was from Middle east or Egypt, my inner cat purred, but just gave a tiny smile and shook my head no.When I stepped out of the tram to my destination, he waved me goodbye with a slight smile, which I would like to think was tinged with regret. Any other day, I would have jumped back to the tram ( I am nothing if not impulsive ) to exchange numbers, but not today. Today, NewYork and California were beckoning, and blue eys became yet another unknown stranger.

The embassy reminded me of a prison. huge walls, guards, security cameras. I was called for the debriefing. And asked about myself. What do I do? Why do I have this contract and not anything else? How long have I been working for my company? How come my MBA is only for two years? ( at that question, i peeked a look at his ID badge and indeedy, he is an American - and then the way he has been asking questions made sense).And what did I do for my under graduation?

I did engineering.

Oh!

And what did you do it in?

I knew I would regret telling him it the moment the words were out of my mouth.

Electronics and Telecommunication. ( also known as branch of engineering which teach terrorists to make bombs)

He practically shoved the form which said that it would take at least a month for my visa to my hands. And all but shooed me out of the place. One month. At least. My managers letters didn't mean zilch to him. Nope.

I came back, opened my laptop and canceled all conformed meetings at work and with friends. And then I tried to answer their questions about my non existent research and publishing of papers without any sarcasm and as much clarity as possible. I was especially stumped by the last question, where like a nosy relative whom one particularly dislike, they wanted to know what I wanted to do with my life and how long I plan to be in this country.

Nordic Gods, the next time any of you walk up to me and compare me to the beauties in Arab nations or in upper Africa, I am gonna give you a tight kick in the ass.I know its unfair, but don't think kicking the visa guy would have really helped.

John Mueller's theory

If you are a geek, chances are you have heard about Skirmisher. They call themselves "Mad. Filthy. intriguing."

And they posted this gem from John Mueller on Rambo.

Laugh laugh laugh

After removing a drunken post from my other blog - nope, you dont know where it is. And if you ask nicely, you may get it. Actually, mostly you wont unless our only connection is via the blogs - and where were we?

Yup; after removing a drunken post from my blog - oh, c'mmon extended family and old friends, stop being so shocked - i was depressed. Then I ended up in this blog, where the author had posted a hilarious video.

That really did not tickle my funny bone, so I googled a few of my favorites and sent them to him. And at the end of all the watching, I was laughing. Again. Awesome!

What is a better tag than one where you ask readers to post five videos that crack you up anytime you see them?

These are mine:


5. The younger brother of Ticktickticktick... :)



4. Jolene, Jolene, Jolen Joleeeene.....



3. Eeeeeeeeeeef you come todaaaaaaay....



2.Shut your F.... :)



1. Welllllllllllll......



Thats me. Always a sucker for bathroom humor. Its a good thing I dont have any kids with this sense of humor. What good mom will laugh at these?

Love's Labor Salvaged

There is an episode of HIMYM where Ted realizes that Robin's dogs were all gifts from her ex boyfriends.

So gals; and guys; let us look at the happy stuff : Yeah they were idiots to leave us/ nor reciprocate our crushes ( includes the preschool ones too) . Yeah they lead boring or unhappy lives now. Yeah, we will have our days of glory and will have our happily ever after.

So, being not bitter and being fabulous and magnanimous and all, lets take a look at the good things that we got and cool habits that we picked up. Five of them the max. Btw, saying "I learned how to identify an a$$h¤l£ doesnt count. Lets be positive here!

Here is my list:

1. American Dad: I was way away from home, and I met this cute guy who absolutely loved American Dad. But despite being introduced to the Smith family, we broke up.

2. A coffee mug: I stole it from one of my major crushes. Stole as in; took it and told him I was going to keep it.

3. Trekking: I realized I have the stamina to trek all day when we went trekking in Chirapunji. He was the trek organizer.

4. Books: From the coffee mug guy and the trek guy. Again, stole them; and explicitly told them that they are not getting them back. Aaah... the good times... ( wrt free books, not wrt lousy emotional choices)

Yup. Thats about it.

So... whoever reads the blog, do compose your list, and let me know by dropping a comment here.

Tagz!

Tagged by Usha... feel free to think about this...

Caveat: I will not mention about - well, if you know it; i dont have to say it here; if you dont, you dont have to know it.


I am:happy.

I think: mostly logically; and allow impulse to take over the reins once in a while...

I know: things aint that important... :) well, except for a few things anyway...

I want: to soak up the sun in a cotton dress, which doesnt seem to happen in Finland :(

I have: great friends

I wish: for a bunch of roses with heady fragrance.... cant pick them from the parks here... and the ones in flowershops doesnt smell... :(

I hate: people taking me for granted

I miss: monsoon and mallu food...

I fear: falling from great heights. Most of my nightmares are around that.

I feel: peaceful

I hear: wind

I smell: hot tea and my basil plant

I crave: for hot tapioca with grounded green chilli & small onions, with a bit of oil n mustard powder

I search: at the drop of a hat

I wonder: how it would be in California ( well, will mention it just once!)

I regret: wasting my time on duffers.

Though I wouldn't really like to acknowledge it, and convince myself that I shouldn't really regret.. For all those actions shaped me into this person that I am proud of. ( copied this from Usha)

I love: good blogs, dogs and kitties, humor ans sarcasm where it is deserved.

I ache: naah, im good.

I care: more than I show.

I am not: perfect.

I believe: I believe. Period.

I dance: when Im comfortable with my surroundings.

I sing: when Im happy.

I cry: when I feel frustrated.

I don’t always: act the same way.

I fight: for my loved ones.

I write: when I feel like it.

I win: Signed out of the win-lose games long ago.

I lose: See above.

I never: believe in absolutes.

I always: see above.

I confuse: a lot of things.

I listen: a lot of things.

I can usually be found:at work or at home; when Im not at other places.

I am scared: of losing my chances and living to regret it.

I need: faith - in myself, in you, in the world.

I am happy about: the fact that I can be happy, and my happiness depends on me.

Tagging time!

There is no better time to blog than when you are sick. I have an early morning meeting tomorrow, I hope I can sleep off the sickness by then. Else it is going to be a hell of a day which is going to end in an office dinner. Not going is not an option. There is an inhouse doctor, and chances are I hve better chances of survival if I collapse in the office than if I stay at home. Our company have a emergency helpline number to call in case of personal need, but who is going to dial the number when I am sick? My plants?

So, here we go with the tags. as MacD said, I am the source of all things taggy.

Share with us five things which made you feel special very recently. End each incident with 'I felt special'.

And here I go:
5. Today when I was walking, a labrador came upto me to be petted. This when both her owners were with her. I felt special.

4. I got a spontaneous 'thank you' from a colleague who is way more senior wrt age, position and experience. In public. In front of my manager. And said that it was the opinion of the whole team. I am the junior most member there. I felt special.

3. My girls from engineering talked to me today. Via Gtalk. Via Gmail. I felt special.

2. Last friday, someone whom I have just recently known got me couple of pictures of something I wanted to see. I was not expecting it. I felt special.

1. One the bus, a handsome dude of five years was staring at me. When I smiled at him, he blushed and smiled back. I felt special :-)

And then I had to fall sick... :(


And I tag:

MaryP
Jinns
Usha
Seema
MacD

and the rest of you who feel like bragging a bit on how special you feel, join in! :)

Movies; Moments

R for a Racer called Speed

Psychedelic fantasy; pure escape for the length of the movie. The races were awesome, I should get the videogame version for my cousins next time I go home. Didn't like Xtina Ricci though. She acted as if she knew it was a comic adaptation. Susan Sandron didn't. And absolutely loved Matthew Fox with hair on his head. He looked way hotter then in Lost.

C for City with the Sex:

A long winded avatar of a favorite serial; some breasts and a penis on screen; the largest collection of women I have ever seen in this city. Was it just me or did they all look and sound a bit paler? Why did Carrie have to marry Mr. Big? And what with all the war references? Took a bullet? Is she delusional? ( the character, not the actress.)

H for Hulk, that Incredible guy:

My heart breaks into pieces when I call this one boring trip. I was playing Sudoku on my E90 half the time. How come I didnt like a movie with Edward Norton and have comic book heroes - two parameters which make me love movies? Because here they wanted to be artsy, and comic booky. The focus was on Ed Norton, and not on Hulk. And the movie was dragging for a comic book adaptation and jerky for a story about a man's struggle for freedom. It reminded me of a moral science text book that I had to learn by rot when I was a kid. The only redeeming moment was Tony Stark, and Ed Norton's blue, blue eyes.

F for Forbidden Kingdom

I used to read the Monkey series of Chinese mythology as a kid. My favorite place was up the staircase, away from the bustle of home, looking up at the mezzanine, whose window ledge lined with money plants were my sanctuary. I still can take myself there by closing my eyes. And I can also see the illustrations on the book, the Monkey King resplendent in flowing robes, the Jade Warlord nothing more than a snarling entity.The movie tackified him - and I need to buy that Monkey King series now for my library, as an atonement for watching this C grade kung fu movie and actually laughing at it.

K for Kung Fu Panda

Funny the first time, bit boring the second. Flashes of brilliance in some scenes; why didnt they adopt the Samurai Jack style of animation? Kung Fu Hustle has nothing to fear from this one as my favorite kungmedy movie.

There is magik in the world

I am going to say this only once. I dont want to say more than what I want to. Someday you might get to hear the whole story, with a bit of luck. May be you wont. But this is not about how the story ends. This is about what the story proves.

Miracles exist. Magik exist. And if you wait your turn, while not too worried about whats going to happen, and really and truly let go and enjoy the here and now, and did not compromise by taking up what you know you wont enjoy just to have something; it will come knocking on to your door, without notice, without hurry or delay. And it will be exactly what you want and need, and what you then decided was too good to exist and forgot with a regretful shrug.

And when it does, the only thing to be done is to go with the flow, and murmur a prayer in thanks to whoever delivered it.

Excuses & Book Binge

It has been almost a month since I blogged.

But hey, I have a good excuse. When your landlady ( thankfully 'ex'ed now ) turns out to be the wicked witch of west, blogging takes a back seat while nervous breakdown and murdorus impulses vie for attention.

Ah, well. Comin gback to book binge.

Here is my list:

Agatha Christie ( All hail the Empress!)

• Evil Under the Sun
• Murder on the Orient Express
• Mystery of the Blue Train
• Poirot's early cases
• Murder in the Mews
• Five Little Pigs
• The Moving Finger
• A Caribbean Mystery
• The Murder of Roger Ackroyd
• They do it with Mirrors
  

Neil Gaiman ( All hail the Emperor!)

• Good Omens
• Sandman:The Kindly Ones

Ruth Rendell ( Say Hi to the barmaid )

• Some Lie, Some Die - meh; dont bother
  

Matt Ridley ( All hail the Magician)

• The Red Queen - its non fiction, and very interesting
  

Dorothy L Sayers ( All hail the crown Princess!)

• Unnatural Death - I became obsessed about Dorothy L Sayers after reading this. Need I say more?
  
• Murder Must Advertise

Moni Mohsin ( All stone the traitor)

• The end of Innocence -I wanted to kick the editor for allowing the publication of this book. I am still recovering from reading it.

Re-read: All things bright & beautiful : James Herriot

Now reading: The Complete Robot : Issac Asimov

Four little doggies

Riding a bike from 1030am to 0720pm; eventhough with brakes in between; is enough to make me tired. Never mind that one of my fellow bikers was calmly eating beef jerky and drinking cider (never heard of dehydration, that one!) and another is planning to go to a 40x2 Km bike trip to a national park and trekk there. They are ironmen ( and a wonder woman too was there) but I am only mortal.

And given my love of dogs, let me classify them with their canine counterparts.

The Labradore ( a golden one, this) had a cool time. He was able to push the grumpy old Jack Russell Terrier's buttons in a snap. He was very friendly with the chirpy Pekinese and the Big Alsatian. Despite the button pushing, the Terrier ultimately forgave him and bought him food.

The Pekinese was happy all around, and cooked lunch for the Terrier and the Lab. They both heped her, and she also fed some squirrels nuts with her hands. She invited the Alsatian over, and the four went cycling.

The Alsatian never barked. He was amused by the enthusiasm of the labradore and the tenacity of the Pekinese. The Terrier and him discussed their mother tongues.

The terrier was grumpy. She felt like giving the irritating lab a nip, an in a weak moment, did do that ( after fair amount of growling). The lab seemed not to mind. She had squirrels eating our of her hand, and staring at her eyes. The lab made her bark in the park too.

Update, Shupsdate

Another tag! Again, created by me.

Now, on this blog, just post five bits of information about you which you have never shared with your blog readers before. No "I plan..." or "I hope..." here - lets look at what has already happened.

Here is my list:

1. I am learning Finnish
2. I bought a bicycle & have started cycling to work
3. I am very sensitive to the long days of Finland and have started waking at 530 am without an alarm clock.
4. I resort to tags to avoid writing a blog post :)
5. I am not fond of chocolate as I used to be. [ This from the girl who conquered one of her worst fears for chocolate ]

And now....

MaryP
MacD
Karthik
Seema
&
Connie

Go forth, my minions! Go forth and spread the tag!! Buahahahaa!!!

Anyone for Binging?

So.... do you read a lot?

If you do, if you want to, or if you wish you had, then this is for you.

From May 5 to June 1st, keep a track of all books that you read. Lets see how many you have managed to complete!

And, copying with pride from MaryPs site ( she may not agree, but she is Mary Poppins guys. He blog is pretty much interesting, and is very relevant to us corporate types on how to deal with negative behaviour - and with a lot of examples).

Other rules:

- You can include books you re-read, so long as you re-read them in between May 5 and 31.
- You may also include books you start but don’t finish, just note the page at which you gave it up. Something like, “Quit, page 47 of 322″.
- You may only include books you read aloud to your children if they are at least 125 pages long.
- Students may include textbooks (if they’re at least 100 pages long).

If you would like to participate, leave a note in the comments. On Friday, I’ll post a list of links to all participants.

AND, for all you lucky participants, we have these lovely blog buttons! There’s a small and a medium version. All you have to do is copy and paste the the following code into your sidebar or post.

For SMALL (125 pixels wide, suitable for a sidebar),

For MEDIUM (240 pixels wide; your text will wrap to the right of the image),

Home sweet home

I got a new place yesterday and I will be moving over there on May 15th. yay!

The relocation agency did not help.at.all. I found the link to this place in our company intranet ( with help from JS ) and fixed up a meeting with the owner. After one hour, we shook hands and decided to take the place.

Let me blow a raspberry now to the imbecile who told me to take an apartment which was way over my budget and was angry when I didn't.

Let me blow a bigger, nastier one to my landlady, who tells me one thing and the imbecile another and is yet to pay a part of my money back. I pay for insurance so that you get protected? Pbbbt!

And let me give a virtual hug to the girl who offered me her home to stay put till the drama is over, and who kept reminding me that the imbecile is, after all, supposed to take care of my needs, and is supposed to serve me. Guess who is going to be complained about?

And yes, there will be a house warming party with a very few chosen personal friends. We don't have too many bottles of French wine to pass around, people!

5 people I hate

This is a tag meme created by me to vent and to dissipate all that anger/frustration. The rules are simple - you just need to list 5 categories of people whom you hate and why.

Here is my list:

1. People who think only they know what is right:

Granted, your ways would be good for you, but there is a reason you are you and I am I. If I need advice, I will ask for it. And yes, you are boring too.

2. Anonymous / random dudes who think I know them:

Listen up losers, I dont know who you are and wont too, unless you identify yourself. A blogger with a legit blog profile and a public blog but with a nom-de-plume has identified her/himself for all practical purposes. You with your lameass name doesnt. And unless we were bosom buddies, it is just common courtusy ( and intelligence ) to assume that I would have forgotten about you. So, please.identify.yourself.

3. Irritating buggers who get a high by bullying me:

I know I am tiny. And yes, I know I have a lot of quirks. But guess what, I am not put on this world to provide you entertainment. So unless you ease off with your bullying, at some point I am going to break and shower you with invectives and seriously hurt you.

4. People who make fun of homosexuals.

Hey jerk, yes, I'm talking to you. Do you know that one of my closest friends is homosexual? And that I am friends with, and work with many of them?And that I respect those people, and is pretty much fond of them? Take your prejudices somewhere else, and dont bother me.

5. People who try to emotionally manipulate.

Hey wimp, I dont need you permission to do what I want to do. And what is that? Oh, it is whinny noises that you are making? Frankly my dear, I couldnt care a damn.

I tag:

MacD (sorry gal, I am food obsessed these days :)

Usha

Karram ( bugger, where is your blog? )

DD

Jinns

Sigh. Guess this tells you a bit about my state of mind right now. Work , inexplicably, goes on pretty much cool. And on a weekend, why should any person living in Finland think about work?

A satisfied life

The Sad Truth About Relationships

And thus it laughs at the ordinary families, ordinary lives.

Few questions:

1. Taken in its entirety, without the depressing voiceover, is that really a bad life?



2. Why do many of us never get to doing that one great thing which we are very convinced would change the humanity?



3. Is not doing that necessarily something to be ashamed of?

Many a times, we all root for perfection and excellence. We bow before the great leaders, the strategists and the titans who spearheaded change and revolution.

But often, we forget or trivialize the faceless majority who believed in the idea, who accepted it and embraced it.The unknowns, the ordinary people whom we do not quite remember or hardly think about. It is they who nurture the ones who create greatness.

Now, more than ever, it is they who create the great and famous with each purchase, link, tag and click of the voting button. So this is just a scribble to their importance, to their significance.

And btw, pick me up at 8pm :)

Love birds

There was a man at the town square in Copenhagen, who was covered with pigeons.

I walked up to him, took a snap; took two more.

I smiled at him.

He gazed at me without welcome or hostility, like I was not really there. His pigeons and seagulls were around him, on him, over him.

How long have you been feeding them?

For a while.

Seems like they recognize you....

That they do.

Look, one is on your head!

He smiled, with the pigeon perched atop his head as feathers on his nonexistent cap.

It was then I noticed his hands. There were claw marks, blood clots, where the beaks and claws have thought fit to enter. He still fed them pieces of hot-dog buns. And was silently talking to them.

I stood there, half curious, half afraid of their talons, wondering about his strange world, envying him a little.

Isnt love like this? Like a flock of pigeons who trust you, it takes many years to nurture. Like the pigeons, it still unwttingly hurt you with the sharp beaks and talons. And those outside the magic ring are half afraid, half curious;about this strange sensation.

Happy Belated Birthday to me

I had the best of birthdays yesterday.

I laughed so hard watching Boom Chicago when the clock struck twelve. My friends from across the world called, scraped, emailed and smsed me. I was with old and new friends, exploring what each city had to offer, not taking up everything, but savouring each bit of juicy culture. Back home Helsinki, a typical South Indian meal awaited me, with honest to goodness sambaar.

And when I landed in Helsinki towards the end of my day, snowflakes touched my hair. Pretty crystals, each brighter than a diamond in the night.

Life is far from perfect, but it is too beautiful for me to worry about its imperfections.

Truth & the Closure

I was in her kitchen, talking to her mother.

She hovered around us. "May I talk to you?" she asked me.

Her mother wanted her to go back to her homework.

I wanted her to wait for a while, and hoped that she would forget my promise. Yes, it was one of those days when you just want to go off to sleep.

However, she is still to young to understand that may be means no and yes means may be. So she waited for me to finish talking with her mother. So we went to the drawing room, and she sidled upto me.

"Is there a Tooth Fairy? And Santa?"

She is of an Indian household. These concepts are passed on to her by her classmates, not by her family. Tooth Fairy and Santa had never visited her.

"No dear... they are not real."

She is not done yet. There are more questions to come, about gifts and money under the pillow and the logistics behind it. we talk a bit about fiction, fantasy and St. Nicolas. She understands.

And in the end, with all seriousness, she wants to know if she can tell this to her friends. Knowledge is power, especially when it is about a fantasy in which you are not a part of.

"Honey... whatever you feel like..." I tell her. This is a decision for her to make.

She thinks for a while, and tells me that she wont tell her friends, not wanting them to feel bad. But of course, she will share it with the Indian kids. I pat her head, tell her that it is a good decision. After talking about books for some more time, I leave.

I hope that once she learns all about facts that are not real, she will then start discovering the hidden magic in the world.

This is about another incident. Sometime back, I had intentionally insulted someone and was a mean bitch to him, hoping that he would move away. The strategy seems to have worked. He has not yet said a word about the death of my granny, which means he has stopped reading my blog.

I was this close to be a leech in that relationship. Always feel loved, always hold such terrible power over another being - it is very tempting. But then, it would not have been fair to him. You are supposed to soar like a eagle when in love, not fall into a ditch. I was him nine years back, and I have not forgiven my ditch from those days yet. I would rather wait out and be someone's sky than take the easy way out and be a ditch.

Break over

So, this is the longest break I have taken from blogging.

And what did I do?

I visited a country, and cried in my heart for people whom I had never known. The KGB museum in Vilnius was hurtful. It was housed in an old prison, and had the prison cells, torture chambers and execution areas underground.

I do not want to try and describe my feelings that day - they cant be.

But still, I think they do deserve a moment of my life, a drop of my tear. This is to remember them, what they dreamt of, and of their children vowing not to forget.

I think I finally got over my granny's death. I traced back the same route I took, when grief numbed, I travel halfway home from office on a chilly December night before realizing that I left my home keys in office.

I went back there, and came back with the keys, and remembered that I left my laptop and my bag back in office - my big bag with all my money and means of money.

I crossed over the bridge, not knowing where I was walking. I was in limbo.

Some weeks later, I walked the same path; in daylight, enjoying the beauty.

So here I am. This is me. And I am typing the first lines of a Bryan Adams song, which means I have to sleep. Now.

But now that I am here, I promise to talk more to you, to keep you posted on life, and the crazy stories that come with the territory.

2008 : what it taught me

Its that time of the year when laziness and a start of a new year prompts one to make lists.

Now, these are not exclusively my words of wisdom. They were given to me by different people at different times. Some were said. Some were shown. Some were demonstrated. And all of them worked for me.

So without much ado, lets take a look at life's little lessons, as demonstrated by these moments of clarity and obscured by my interpretation

At work, often the best feedback is spontaneous.

Do not believe in everything you hear. Or see. Always look for the season summary than that one scene shot to know the story.

Believe in yourself.

99.99% of times, when you expect something bad to happen, it wont. Bad things happen when the sun is up and your surroundings resemble a beautiful Disney forest in spring.

No one knows everything. Everyone knows something. The trick is in figuring out who knows what and which of them applies to you.

Just because someone goes on and on and on about something, it does not mean that it is actually true. And often, a persons understanding of self is innately flawed.

You can always walk away from toxic or boring conversations and relationships. You do not owe it to anyone to listen to it all.

All of us will excel in at least one thing in the world. The trick is to find that one position which is the best for you.

It always helps to ask. You don't know everything.

Never expect to do all your work by yourself. And never expect to do only your work and not of others.

Learn to say no.

Just because someone ask you a question, you need not necessarily answer them.

You cannot make everyone happy.

Like the opening lines of a joke....

A Finn, an American, A Russian, an Estonian, a Bangladeshi, a Swede, a Romanian, an Iranian and a few Indians walked into a bar on Friday. Actually it was the American's idea, but what started as a friendly, after salsa class discussion turned into two consecutive night-outs with living it up in Helsinki.

Notes from the parties:

Friday night saw one of the chiccas hopping on to the sound box and the window stills and shaking whatever she got. Doing this with utmost dedication with another chick from a nearby country and entertaining both the crowd inside and the men outside but facing the glass windows, she then proceeded to get drunk. The Indian men, seeing this probably for the first time, reacted in different ways - the unmarried, younger to me one was scandalized, the married with a kid one promptly followed suit and shook his bum at the onlookers outside the window, who hastily retreated.

Both the kids who are barely legal promptly fell for oldies in the group. The youngest chicca was living it up with the oldest man, and the boychick had the hots for a muccho hotter elder lady and was also eyeing another elder babe in the group. But the elder babe was apparently channeling her inner Samantha Jones and was happily giving 'may be I think you are cute.. may be' looks to many local boys. Many blushed, tried to cut her away from us friends and was cruelly rebuffed. But one guy had more guts - he joined the group, first making small chat with the guys in the gang. The lady asked him to get on top of the sound box and dance. This happened much earlier at the party, with people just getting into the groove. To his credit, he jumped onto the five feet tall box, grooved to the music like he made it. To her credit, when he jumped down, she danced with him and led him away for a chat. fifteen minutes later, we find her on a dinner booth, deep in conversation with the guy. She give him her phone number, ask him to give her a call, and coming back, continues shaking her booty. Boychick ignores her for the rest of the night.

Now this is late night / early morning depending on your POV, but I just have to type this out. I know that if I wait till morning, I am going to end up playing online games and/or read up blogs - and as usual, as soon as I reach the current dates, I will link them here.. I am meeting a lot of interesting people, and would like to talk about what they think/do than who they are - I have got my eye on a few....

And about tonight, will blog tomorrow...

NSFW copied with laziness

I usually copy from here to my office blog ( lazy, I know) but I have been on a no blog mood all along this year. So before this blog dies, let me be shameless and copy from my office blog and paste here:

If we take the term NSFW and turn it around, here are some things which severely limited my capability to be productive during my free time last year. They are extremely addictive, and not safe not just for work, but for any activity which does not involve sitting in front of an internet access point. They hypnotize you into clicking over and over without even once getting up and looking at the real world. I have intentionally not linked to any of them here as I don't want to be responsible for your life being spent on them.

LOLCats:

Extremely potent. What starts as a harmless click hypnotizes you into mindless hours browsing pictures of bored looking and extremely fat cats wearing bright items of clothing.

LOLDogs:

Very similar to LOLCats - except that these are dogs - and they look adorable and more stupid in their tutus.

Webcomics:

The humor varies - from cartoons on engineers to angels to more engineers and robots, its all out there. Most of them are to be read from the beginning, and spans over many years, not unlike an Indian prime time soap ( but on a much smaller scale).

Facebook vampires:

I have no idea why I wanted to spend time spamming my friends ( yes, I admit it, I spamed you, and I am sorry! )so that a website will rate me better. And to think I laughed at the voters for Indian Idol...

Online games:

Not of the age of empires variety. This is more of the chess, tetris and pacman variety. I had spent better part of my holidays sitting home and playing online.

British humor sites:

These are not the click here for a joke sites. They specialize in irony; and have umpteen photoshop contests which ask you to create spoof ads, spoof fairytale book covers.... well spoof everything. And there are sites which take photoshoping to an art form.I have given up lolcats and loldogs and am abstaining from online games. I uninstalled facebook vampires and pretty much all applications which I found addictive - and which involved spamming.

I still go to spoof sites and webcomics once in two weeks. I am now into reading blogs - from that of teachers to doctors to HR professionals to marketers to lawyers - and I guess some months down the line, I will have to go to my delicious page and untag all of them.

But till then, I browse.

And yes, I know the title was very misleading. :-)

Whew! And thus begins 2008. Hopefully I will be more regular. Hey, I said hopefully!

Goodbye sweet....

Dear Nanamma*,


You should have waited. I was planning to bring you 70% chocolate, which would have melted in your mouth. Heaven may have very many things, but do they have 70% chocolate which taste like sin? I doubt it.

Instead, you just decided that its time for you to go, and off you went. You didn"t keep your word - you did not wait around to pet your first great grandchild - not that I was planning to have a baby anytime soon, but still, you could have waited a bit.



I can hear you saying "C"mmon kiddo" with your wide white smile - half believing, not knowing if i am pulling a fast one on you and pulling you leg. But hey, I never teased you when it came to chocolates. We both know that it is too serious a subject to play the fool with.



But we played the fool with everything else. We encouraged the dogs to romp on the bed, we read together cheesy local soap operasque romance novels - you were a young sixty four, and I was an old seven year old. We had mangoes for lunch - atleast when the adults were not looking, and you made me an addict to Maggie. I made a mess, cutting out papers and toppling chairs and yanking down curtains to create a forest, palace, palladin, or fort - as the case may be. You, and only you, allowed me to do so.



But how could you resist, me little enactments, you prima donna drama queen, you? You knew that I knew that you were overreacting, and took my pulling your leg in good humour.



You bought me books. And chewing gum. And candyfloss.



You took me to see Kathakali the way it should be seen. Under the starry sky, with a huge oil lamp dancing in the wind, you told me about the heroes and gods and godesses. You taught me about our culture, our heritage.



You spoiled grandpa. But then, you spoiled us all. With love, with putting us before everything - well, before almost everything. How many sarees do you have, all expensive, all unironed as you thought that Rs 1.5 is too much to pay to the ironing guy to tend to a Rs 3000 saree? You wore it the way you liked, all bunched up, so that if someone asked you to pretty please cook some maggie ( thats me ) or to hold the menacing two inch dog ( that MC, the 'fraidiest of the three of us) or to play with him ( thats AC - the one who took after you and me in family kookiness).



You were the only one geniunely disappointed when I told you, at 16, that no, I dont have a boyfriend. My parents and granddad breathed in relief. You felt that I was lying or that I didnt have a life.



You gave me my ego. That is a commendable effort, when we look back at the ones who thought ego was a bad thing, and I ought to have none of it. I could love you only for that.



You gave me pets, and allowed me to name them as I wished. And you loved them like I did.I am sure Puppy, Chinnu, Dash, Chitrapadma, Jillie, PussyCat, the myriad fishes and Torty have already given you a warm welcome up there, running around you, drooling all over you, winding around your feet and what not.



You gave me hope. You were the best example of why a hopeful, happy life is better. You had more than enough to feel sad and bitter about. You could not have walked out of the bitter and difficult early years of your marriage. Years later, you would still tell me with a twang of complaint in your voice, that it was not fair, grand dad was not fair. I would tell you that we can always divorce grandpa, and dont we have many a fair man who is smitten with your beauty to fall back on? You will chuckle delighted, granddad would look alarmed, and you would then blush.



You told me about grandpa's girlfriend who jilted him - and thus he had to marry you - but you shushed grandpa when he was about to retort with how you liked someone when you were a wee lass. I have tried bribing him with sweets and chocolates, but he didnt open his mouth. I think you would like to know that he was a bit afraid of you.



You were tiny. As in, tinier than me. And lean. And healthy, except for your imaginary illnesses for which, whenever I would suggest a remedy, you will decide not to take it. But some of them were true, result of marital strife and a life of poverty. You always had me to take your side, and I felt your pain against your still evil sister-in-law and would be quite frosty and will duck and cover against her wet sloppy kisses. So would the other two - MC and AC.



Your relatives thought of you as a bit silly. That you probably are. But they thought of you as a bit inconsequential. You were anything but. With your infinite patience and love, you held us, a bunch of fragmented egos, together.



You loved your spices, and made food fiery and hot. You loved colors, and wore too bright colors which even I thought was too bright. You loved to dress up, and wear your gold.



You introduced me to your neighbours -all Muslims and a few Christians - and their amazing food. It would have been so easy for me to just pretend-like them, and distrust and bitch about them behind their back. I have to thank you for my taste of the holy bread - which you proccured for me because I wanted to try it. Your were called "mom" by not just my mother and uncle, but b a whole street of people. You were the nice granny for about 7 to 8 kids, all unrelated by blood and only by love, at the last count. I was known as your granddaughter, about whom you bragged.



You were the one who got it first when I said that I want to live first, and then may be, marry later. You encouraged me to live life as I would want it, and travel as much as I can.



May be in a different life, I might have been you, and you, me.



Take care sweetheart - I will miss you like anything - I will miss baiting you with my tall tales and will miss the delight when you laugh at my jokes. I will miss discussing what to wear with you. I will miss your food - um, not really. But will definitely miss your pickles.



But now, rather than watching over us, I would be happier if you had the time of your death now. Take care, have a nice trip. And like our old pact, if you come back to visit as an all black crow and I had only one piece of chocolate in my hand, I will happily give it to you.



Anytime.


- Your granddaughter, who is indignant that you did not wait for me to come home and set off today, for new worlds.



Nanamma* - when I was a wee baby, I decided that my grand mom is my mom, and only mine. So I would say Njaan ( I ) Amma ( mom ) which basically meant "my mom" for a 1.5 year old me. The name stuck, and half the world would call her that as I grew up.


Addendum: I had talked to my dad for some time, when the exact reason for the death was told to me. There is a temple in Kerala, on top of a mountain called Sabarimala. My granny, at the age of 70+, went on a trek to the top of the mountain. The trek was done donning a sari and at least partially on donkeys, but the strain was too much for her frail, 5feet long, less than 35 Kg body. She did not tell of the trip to my mom, and forbade everyone around her from doing so, rightly worrying that she will get chewed out by her daughter for trying something foolhardy. The news leaked out to my dad today, and he passed it on to me. My mom doesn't know this. Yet.

And now I am happy. Of all the ways my granny could have died, this was one of the best. She did something she really wanted to do; and defying her children made it all the more sweeter for her. Even when she died, I am sure she died happy, the memories of her trek lingering in her mind. For a woman who loved exploring life as passionately as she did, but hardly had a chance to do so because of social mandates and responsibilities, in her last unconscious moments, she would have been preparing for her next big travel, eyes shining like black diamonds in excitement. It is a good way to say goodbye to the world, when you feel all alive and appreciate the gift of life.

Learning Curve

I learned here that I am predisposed to being happy, and will pursue it so.

I learned that I am easily bored, and I need a certain amount of change.

I learned I can multi-task.

I learned I care more about what I am supposed to do than about bowing to people.

I learned I can be a mean bitch. And I know that I am proud of it.

I learned I do not judge people much, but when I start doing so, I invariably judge the ones who love judging.

I learned I want to have fun when I am working, and that I will seek it out if it does not come naturally.

I learned to pick and choose. I learned to explore and discover. I learned to push the limits and trust myself to navigate when the path is not clear.

I learned that, often brand new places feel like home, and just because they allow you to OD on freedom. Me, the freedom junkie.

I learned there is an angel and a devil in me and they quite love each other.

Thank you, oh wise one, for throwing me into the middle of an emotional nowhere. I have learned some.

Why I love Om Santi Om

Yes, I am the same person who worships Tarentino and love obscure, indie movies. I lauded Beja Fry and Being Cyrus, not to mention Khosla ka Ghosla.

But still, like a dieting Homer Simpson succumbing to chocolate filled chocolately chocolate crusted chocolate donut, I return to OSO, my guilty pleasure.

Its a spoof.

I love humour, and especially the ability to laugh at oneself. I have a huge weekness for MAD magazine and South Park, and by extention, love the spoof movies.

OSO is a spoof on the hindi phillum industry, with all its glorious wackiness laid out there.

The seventies.

The time of bell bottoms and razor mushtaches, over the top acting, dream sequences which have enough people to fill a football stadium doing synchronized gyrating... all that, and more is there in the movie.

A bum called SRK.

The way he romances Deepika like a cute labrador pup in the first half... and his bratty avtar in the second half ( which then get spoiled for me once he starts being the nice guy)


The shooting of Mind IT!!

Yenna Raaascala.... we have all seen such comic movies - albeit when our relatives sat and weeped at the scenes - but I swear, I would really really want to watch Mind It, with that man in it.


Film fare award night

That enitre sequence - from the red carpet interviews ( "we are just friends" ) to the movie scenes to AB baby swearing under his breath... beautiful!!!


In Jokes

This movie is a treasure trove for those who has been following Bollywood - read: average Indian. My personal favorite is when Mein Ne Pyaar Kiya is referenced - subtle, and priceless!


Bhaago!!!!

Again, amazing!

And by dedication we mean...

The wedding scene which SRK retakes... with the flower in his mouth.

Kiron Kher

For me, she is SRKs heroine. Her comic timing is perfect, and deliciously over the top.


Ladies and gents; granted, this may be an over the top movie, there is no rythm and reason in the movie, but tell me, did you laugh at least once? Or twice? Thrice may be?

I rest my case.

Movie List

My Christmas gifts are already given; thanks to some creative people. I'm yet to open the wrapper, but I cant wait to catch each of them!

Now, my dear, let me talk to you. You, the nice bollywood fan who is not from India. Nope, having an Indian DNA does not automatically make you a true blue Bollywood fan.

Quick Quiz:

1. Who is Kareena's boyfriend?

2. The actor whos characters are mostly names Rahul, or Raj in most of his movies.

3. Name two movies of Kajol.

4. Name three Khans ( bonus point for naming four) in Bollywood

5. who is Sanju Baba?

If you got atleast three of the above right off your head without googling, then this list is not for you. If, however, you did not make the cut, then read on, for this list is for you.


1. Munna Bhai M.B.B.S

Comedy. But for complete entertainment, get someone who understands the Tapori Hindi so that they can translate the sprit of the dialogue.

2. Chak De India
I assume that you have already seen Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaayenge, Kabhi Khushie Kabhie Ghum, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Dil To Paagal Hai, Kal Ho Na Ho et al. Some of you might have even seen Main Hoon Na and have already booked the tickets for Om Santi Om and have seen DON. But this is not a typical SRK movie : you dont have to suspend disbelief, and can watch a less hyper, but equally intense, performance of Shahrukh Khan.

And yes, this movie is heavily inspired from the different sports movies in Hollywood, so play spot the scene.

3. Dil Chahta Hai

I don't have a favorite scene in this movie... every scene is precocious, and this is our filmy version of Friends. Best to watch it with an yuppie Indian, who will get nostalgic over this movie :)

And yes, I know you would have seen Lagaan!

4. Honeymoon Travels :
You must have seen Monsoon Wedding... now see what happens after the marriage!

Amisha Patel and KK Menon are hilarious in this movie!

5. Being Cyrus:

This is one trippy movie. It's in English, so you hopefully do not need the subtitles...

I wanted to end this list with just five, but hey, here is one bonus movie:

6. Omkaara

It is an adaptation of Othello. The dialogues are caustic; hotter than Tabasco sauce, and pithy like tequila shots, and the actors are really good.

Have an Indian who knows Hindi well enough to translate the movie, which begins with 'Bewakoof aur Chootiye ke beech mein... ' the language is half the fun, do not lose it.


Answers :

1. Saif Ali Khan
2. Shahrukh Khan
3. DDLJ, KKHH
4.Saif, Shahrukh, Salman & Amir ( also Fardeen, Sayed, Sanjay etc etc... )
5. Sanjay Dutt who will never be fifty again... and fyi, Baba means 'baby' in Hindi.

Happy watching!