Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Love birds

There was a man at the town square in Copenhagen, who was covered with pigeons.

I walked up to him, took a snap; took two more.

I smiled at him.

He gazed at me without welcome or hostility, like I was not really there. His pigeons and seagulls were around him, on him, over him.

How long have you been feeding them?

For a while.

Seems like they recognize you....

That they do.

Look, one is on your head!

He smiled, with the pigeon perched atop his head as feathers on his nonexistent cap.

It was then I noticed his hands. There were claw marks, blood clots, where the beaks and claws have thought fit to enter. He still fed them pieces of hot-dog buns. And was silently talking to them.

I stood there, half curious, half afraid of their talons, wondering about his strange world, envying him a little.

Isnt love like this? Like a flock of pigeons who trust you, it takes many years to nurture. Like the pigeons, it still unwttingly hurt you with the sharp beaks and talons. And those outside the magic ring are half afraid, half curious;about this strange sensation.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Happy Belated Birthday to me

I had the best of birthdays yesterday.

I laughed so hard watching Boom Chicago when the clock struck twelve. My friends from across the world called, scraped, emailed and smsed me. I was with old and new friends, exploring what each city had to offer, not taking up everything, but savouring each bit of juicy culture. Back home Helsinki, a typical South Indian meal awaited me, with honest to goodness sambaar.

And when I landed in Helsinki towards the end of my day, snowflakes touched my hair. Pretty crystals, each brighter than a diamond in the night.

Life is far from perfect, but it is too beautiful for me to worry about its imperfections.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Truth & the Closure

I was in her kitchen, talking to her mother.

She hovered around us. "May I talk to you?" she asked me.

Her mother wanted her to go back to her homework.

I wanted her to wait for a while, and hoped that she would forget my promise. Yes, it was one of those days when you just want to go off to sleep.

However, she is still to young to understand that may be means no and yes means may be. So she waited for me to finish talking with her mother. So we went to the drawing room, and she sidled upto me.

"Is there a Tooth Fairy? And Santa?"

She is of an Indian household. These concepts are passed on to her by her classmates, not by her family. Tooth Fairy and Santa had never visited her.

"No dear... they are not real."

She is not done yet. There are more questions to come, about gifts and money under the pillow and the logistics behind it. we talk a bit about fiction, fantasy and St. Nicolas. She understands.

And in the end, with all seriousness, she wants to know if she can tell this to her friends. Knowledge is power, especially when it is about a fantasy in which you are not a part of.

"Honey... whatever you feel like..." I tell her. This is a decision for her to make.

She thinks for a while, and tells me that she wont tell her friends, not wanting them to feel bad. But of course, she will share it with the Indian kids. I pat her head, tell her that it is a good decision. After talking about books for some more time, I leave.

I hope that once she learns all about facts that are not real, she will then start discovering the hidden magic in the world.

This is about another incident. Sometime back, I had intentionally insulted someone and was a mean bitch to him, hoping that he would move away. The strategy seems to have worked. He has not yet said a word about the death of my granny, which means he has stopped reading my blog.

I was this close to be a leech in that relationship. Always feel loved, always hold such terrible power over another being - it is very tempting. But then, it would not have been fair to him. You are supposed to soar like a eagle when in love, not fall into a ditch. I was him nine years back, and I have not forgiven my ditch from those days yet. I would rather wait out and be someone's sky than take the easy way out and be a ditch.