Saturday, January 27, 2007

Bits of chatter & some politically incorrect thoughts

"Long time guys, loooong time.."

"So girls, wassup?"

"Don't ask babe, don't ask..."

" So um... are you guys still.. ummm... "

"Us? Which one are you talkin about? "

"Err.. so I think that means a no.."

"Oh, Him??? Nope. No way. Finito."


"Shut up dude, just because I gave it a shot the past 3 times when things went wrong doesn't mean than I will do it this time, you know."

"Right.. so whose the new guy? Ohmigawd!!! Don't tell us you have fallen for your boss! Do you know how much they are paying you?"

"Yo babes, wait it out man. None of your crushes last for more than three weeks!"


"It's cool yaar. And its not my boss. Yuck! What a thought!"


"How do you know there is a but? Aaaaaargh... I'm in love with one of my clients.... aaaargh!!!!"

"Love??? Heyhey... lets not go overboard - why dont we use the term crush?"

"Aaaargh!!! I'm so unprofessional! My career will go down the drain... aaargh...."

"What? Do you guys make out or something in your office?"


"Dude I just asked.... they way she was reacting.... okay... stop blushing and tell me what exactly you do..."

"I .. errr... ermmm.. call him up... like.... errr... every day.... to ask about the project and all... and we talk...."
"I guess its cool man - she is imagining the whole stuff up as usual."

"Shit woman! Does your boss know? Back off ASAP!"

"Err... that's the problem - he actually gave me a public recommendation for my high level of client engagement..."

"Heheheheheeeee!! Client engagement!! I like it!! Me likey likey!! very very!!!!!"


"Sorry dude.. really sorry... madam, what about you?"

"Err.. you know.. he finally wants to marry me.. yeah, so we are trying to get a similar location and all that... but I don't think it will go on, you know... "

"Hmm.. yeah..."

"Actually, I guess I never really liked him... we are actually thinking of calling it off... I met his younger brother last week -he is kinda cute... and he takes such good care of me..."

"Then do it na... instead of cribbing so much.."

"Yeah but what do we tell our common friends?"

"Yo, ask those morons to go to hell. If ANY of them want to ask you anything, as them to come to me.. I will give an explaining which they wont forget in a hurry - you guys wanna breakup, you breakup! You wanna date his kid bro, you date his kid bro! "

"I may take up the offer da... lets see... btw, what about you? "

"Bye gals, gotta go.. byeee..."

"Not so fast...."


Oh, btw, the voices reflected above are an amalgamation of the voices of my friends. Any use of the words woman, man, dude, dudette - they are used to guide, not to point at anyone - from a particular place, company or gender. We are the lost souls. We left our childhoods long back by some dusty roadside; yet we yearn for the relative simplicity and the never shaken optimism that everything is going to be alright the next moment, hour or day. We know we are growing old, but how we resist it - by looking and talking young.

We are the boats which are moving confidently to the sea, but we not know yet if we will sink or crash or even have a slim chance of miraculously reaching some unknown land.

Each of us is isolated in his or her own path. Our paths cross, but we still have to travel lone, sail alone, in search of the meaning of our search.

Whisper a prayer for us, for we are the ones who are forgotten in the prayers as we are cursed with youth. The old are remembered in the prayers of their children, the children are taken care of by the world. The poor have morality and justice to feel for them, the neglected do have their guardian angels, however few or far in between.

We are the ones who are cursed with blessings, expected to be happy. We are the ones who cannot cry, for they have not defined our tears.

We, the youth.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Of hims and hers and thems

Thank God for women.

In a mad mad day which is a Friday, it is better if you are surrounded by women.

Women are born perfectionists. We think that it is our duty to make sure that everything goes well. We agonize over what we tell men and other women long after they have forgotten them. We hate raised vocies, unless that of mirth and merry making.

Its much more easier to travel with women. You dont have to go knocking to one door after another in the morning for toothpaste. You can giggle over chocolates and express your love for MLTR.

You can hug them tight when you see them after sometime, and nobody is going to snigger ( except may be brain dead men).

Should I thank God for men?

They are so thick skinned, that a banged down phone, a failure to turn up to meet them - well, not in that case - or giving importance to work doesnot worry them. Maddeningly, most of the avenues which you use to express anger goes un noticed.

Thankfully, most of the avenues which you use to express anger goes un noticed.

May be I should just thank God for friends.

They are the first to tell you to get out of a toxic relationship - be it family, boyfriends, crushes or colleagues.

They are the first to notice that you dont eat right, that you have something good going on, that you need a hug, that you need a reality kick ( and deliver it).

They are the ones who can be shameslessly curious about your crushes, love mishaps and everything.

They are gloriously selfish about you and your well being.

They keep your memory sticks, cable connectors and camera covers safe, and return it on time.

They are the ones who can walk in and out of your life - and you let them.

Yeah, I'm just glad for my friends.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Snippets of conversation

Just adding snippets of conversations here.. too zonky to do anything more... If I edit or put the conversation out of context, kindly grant me poetic ( or prosaic? ) liberty!

Hey ... saw your post.. it touched a chord...

One of my best friends, someone who had agonised for me and felt bad for me. We are like chalk and cheese - but we do maintain our bond of sisterhood and let it be, for many more births, across distances. And that brings us to...

I will dot you :D

When one of your sunshine gals put that flag up, you do ask her back - via the same channel, ofcourse - what she means. (In mallu tongue, the word for dot and stab is the same -kuthu). At the end of a 5 minute conversation, we both get senti and say buy - who is the moron who feels that distances matter? And that reminds me of...

ya i suffer from bouts of temporary insanity

This person should be cloned and passed around for his amazing ability to make people laugh and generally feel good. Kindred soul? Passing traveler? Too soon to categorize - let it be! I am enjoying the journey too much to worry about the destination. And with his acerbic wit, he is in sharp contrast with...

And I may marry her

Good for you! You do need a woman to take care of you - and I hope she knows how lucky she is. Else she will be on her way to get bitchslapped from me! And the word bitch brings to mind...

Where are you, bitch?

Do you know that your smses freak out my friends? ( And my replies to them too.) Fellow loony, still hurting from a situation which cannot be blamed on anyone - not even her - as much as I want to, let me be fair here. You can be as rude as you want with me ( and vice versa) but we know what we are and where we stand with each other. May you be able to love again my friend, without being on auto-comparison mode. And that reminds me...

Dey, veettil van kalips...

Hang in there, hold on, but dont friggin pass any nice mallu momma's boy's to my parents you imp! And may your gult boy and you lead a happy n long married life - to each other - without any guilt pangs.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Paulo Coelho and the journey of Love.

It has been a while since I just finished reading a Paulo Coelho.

Some books are searched out and bought. Some books are given to you, recommended. Some books come to you, unbidden messages which solidifies all the anxiety and love that people who care for you have.

Paulo Coelho's books have that quality for me. They came to me, unbidden, when I was grappling with my love demons. They came, they talked, and gave me the strength to either face a situation or walk away from one.

Alchemist told me that it is okay to fall in love, lose yourself in it. But don't expect to end your journey then and there, for often the seemingly end is the unlocking of a journey within yourself.

Eleven minutes taught me that it is okay to live the way you like with your soul and body. My friends loved the book more for its sexual descriptions, but it helped in undoing my prudishness.

Devil & Miss Prym told me that it is okay to be tempted, but in the end, you always have the choice to take a stand.

Fifth mountain helped me to get in terms with my loss, dust it off my mind and walk ahead.

Zahir told me to hold on to my obsession ( my ideal of what I want from love) - I did not listen, and my life was a parallel - of course a much milder version - of the book in the months to come.

Now, Like a Flowing River told me that I am making the right decisions, that I need to love and lose - at times deliberately, so that when love comes calling again in whichever form it choose, I can welcome her into my heart with all happiness, without prejudices.

Warrior of the Light and Pilgrimage are like anchors - they are rooted deep within me; both coming at a time of doubts and depression - both speaking into me and helping me to help myself.

Dear friend, you asked me what do I feel when I am in love. I feel alive, happy, giggly, blushing when they come over and talk to me, and indulgent.

I also realise and accept that I may not like everything about them, I stop any attempt on my part to criticize them or change their ways, I don't try to force fit them into my life - as I don't allow them to do that to me too.

I understand that being in love with one person doesn't mean switching off my brain, and that I - and them - may feel attracted to other people. Whether we act on it is more of a question of being true to ourselves that to the relationship.

I know love so well that when it is drooping, I try my best to revive it, but when it is drawing its last breath, I realise that I should not live in the past and should move on.

Babul is undoubtedly one of the most corniest movies I have seen. However, from that movie I badly translate a line spoken by Amithabh Bacchan. When talking to Rani Mukherjee, his daughter in law who is grieving her husband's death and living in his memories, he say thus:

"Look at the ocean in front of you. It is full of water which flows, acts like water, is like water to touch and store. However, you cannot quench your thirst with it as it is salty. Living in the memories of a relationship is like that. You may feel you are living a life, but such a life is not life, but mere existence."

I have learned, to drink from the flowing river of love, identifying my love every day, hoping for it in the future, watching it contributing to the ocean of memory, but never content in being stagnantly attached to the past.

I say this with no ego, no sense of "wow! look at me." I have learned, and I feel and think that I am at least worthy of drinking from the flowing river.

And I thank my guardian angels, Paulo Coelho and my good friends who asked me "are you sure?" and " i just want to tell you this" when I was trying to quench my thirst with memories.
May your rivers overflow and aid the banks bloom, may they never dry, may you look at the ocean in wonder and amazement, but never ever try to drink from it.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Life gyaan ver.2006

1. Friends come and go.

2. Never think that you will not work or be friends with a particular person. They may turn out to be a wonderful friend.

3. It is important to help your friends. It is equally important to stop doing it when it starts pushing you down the drain.

4. If a person constantly puts you down in public, it is okay to talk back. If they don't respect your choices in life, they are not really your friends.

5. Watching movies, shopping, taking a walk - doing all these by yourself never diminishes they joy you get out of these simple activities.

6. Sometimes, time is more precious than money.

7. Never ever imagine that you can change people's fundamental nature.

8. It is okay to say No.

9. Trusting people makes it less stress free at work.

10. Listen to feedback. But then think about it and if found useful, act on it.

11. Nobody is perfect.

12. Respect yourself. Nobody is integral to your life. Yeah it hurts when people come and go, but you cry some, lick your wounds in private and may be with some friends, but then get up and is ready to soar again.

13. It is never too late to go back to a set of people whom you have left behind and make amends, create friendships.

14. Sometimes apologies or explanations are not accepted. Don't brood over them, move on.

15. Know your limits when it comes to spending money, drinking alcohol, cutting down on sleep, going wild.

16. Listen to your conscience. Learn to separate it from the doubting voices in your head.

17. Swearing is good - but only in private, with friends.

18. Dont be afraid to reach out to people if you think they can do with your help.

19. Dont treat kids as kids. Treat them as equals if you really want to know them.

20. Sometimes, its better to sit back and wait for the other person to call/email/sms you.