Resolutions

This is going to be a difficult blog post to write.

I am going to say NO in this post.

I was raised to say yes, whenever, wherever I can. Growing up, saying yes to someone's request symbolized caring, respect, humility and love. Saying no, by default, meant the opposite of those emotions. I was trained as a child, to always give what is mine to others, even when I was not quite ready to give it, even when the needs of others were not quite that pressing. I was conditioned to be there for those who need help, never mind how they chose to repay you.

In retrospect, my parents raised me to be an angel, but I have to live on this earth. I have, in earlier posts, talked about how blessed I was to have met great friends last year. However, what was unsaid, was that I have also met a lot of dementors too.

According to J K Rowling & Wikipedia, dementors "....feed on the positive emotions, happiness and good memories of human beings, forcing them to relive their worst memories." My closest friends know and have heard of how they had affected me.

So this year, I am going to say NO to every one of them. I owe it to myself, and my friends who helped me through my down time when these people sucked all the positive emotions out of me. I feel that not saying NO to those who do not care about me is equivalent to me not respecting those who want me to be happy. Hence, without much ado...

This year, I WILL NOT allow others to hold me hostage in a place or an activity against my wishes

This year, I WILL NOT friend and follow, both in real and online life, anyone who brings bad vibes to my life without a second thought or a second chance.

This year, I WILL NOT allow anyone to disrespect me, my friends or my country.

This year, I WILL NOT try to help everyone in need. Some people do not deserve it.

This year, I WILL NOT hesitate to call cops on those whose behaviors border on the psychotic.

This year, I WILL NOT worry about what was said and what was broken.

This year, WILL NOT apologize just to resolve conflict.

However, this year, I will

Help my friends when I have the time, energy and inclination to do it, and do it without any expectations.

Stop saying yes when I mean may be, and stop saying may be when I mean no.

Keep trying out new things, but also say no when I feel like it.

I have realized that by saying YES to everything and everyone, I end up saying NO a lot to myself and what I want to do. Life is so short, I have to live it the best way I think it should be lived. I do not have it in me to save the world, but I can make it a happier place for a very select number of people.

Year in retrospect

I have been working on a side project which was stalled for a while. And working on it everyday, putting in at least hundred words whether you like it or not means that blogging really really takes a back seat.

So, what did I do in 2009? In no particular order, some low/high lights of 2009:

• Fall in love with Helsinki and declare it home despite the tininess of the city, the freezing cold, the high cost of living and ignorance of the native language
• Enjoy my job
• Fall victim to common cold
• Do not fall victim to H1N1
• Go to Paris and fall in love with the city
• Donate at least 12 bag loads of clothes to charity
• Got for music concerts
• Watch Cirque De Soleil
• Celebrate a Finnish Christmas
• Be honorary god mother to cats
• Do a tai-chi course
• Shoot a shotgun, Glock and AK-47
• Go to Dharamsala
• Take parents on a weekend vacation
• Be rude to people who pity me for being single
• Be friends with a 3 year old even though we do not speak a common language ( unless you count shrieks as a language)

And more importantly, made really great friends this year. Yes, the best thing about 2009 are the friendships that the year brought with it. I would never say no to any part of the year, even the bad parts, as it brought a lot of amazing people into my life. I have been very lucky to have an abundance of friends, far away and near, of many years and relatively new, very young and very young at heart.

Enjoy 2010 everyone, and keep smiling!