Every lie has an exception

Lie:
"Me? I hate flowers. yuck!!! It's soo cheesy!!!"

Real meaning:
1. Hurmph. You wont buy me flowers. And I wont ask you for them. I have too much ego to do that.

Truth when:
I am allergic to the flowers or flower pollens

Lie:
"I don't like jewelery"

Real meaning:
1. Your jewelery selection sucks. I am not going to wear that monstrosity, even if it has such beautiful diamonds.
2. I hate gold. I love only platinum and diamonds.
3. You think that I am above all these material things. I like that you have put me in a pedestal. Now let me think how I can make you buy me beautiful, shiny things.

Truth when:
You kidding me??????? Stop dating a woman if you think this statement can be true - you are hopeless!

Lie:
"Of course dear, we will do exactly that..."

Real meaning:
1. I don't want to pick up a fight with you on this. But I know exactly how to make you do what I want. You wont even know it, and your ego will be intact ( Fragile thing, your ego!)
2. ...and you will hate it, and then will wish that you had listened to me. I hate doing it anyway.
3. ...and with my passive aggression, I will prove to you why it is a bad idea.

Truth when:
It is something in which I have no interest in, and something which you will do with minimum impact in my life.


Lie:
"I believe in equality of the sexes..."

Real meaning:
1. I will do what I want as I am empowered. But if you do what I don't want you to do, then you are insensitive. You made me cry ( yes, we know you feel really bad when we cry).
2. ...but I still expect you to be chivalrous and pick up the bill, do not flinch or retaliate when I inflict bodily harm with my kicks and talons, and open the door for me and run little errands for me.
3. ...and misusing it to my advantage.

Truth when:
I am a heroine from an Eric Segal novel who is the epitome of self sacrifice and completely guileless.


Guys, feel free to provide timeless female cliches... will try to decipher them for you...