Whoever said that corporate life doesn't have its moments of humour would have never worked in an office.
During the placement season, companies get into the mad frenzy of upping the salaries. Coming from one of the better branded HR courses means that people who never even bothered to keep in touch will call you up one day.
The conversation would go like this. The protective arms around any set of words chronicle my mental audio at that time.
Me: Hello? ( Who is this? I hope I sound polite enough, busy enough and cheerful enough to steer my conversation whichever way).
XYZ: Hiiii... How are you doing? Long time no see....
Me: I'm okay... ( I cant say I'm fine - what if I get more work to do? I cant say I am NOT fine - what if on the other side its my parents who think that marriage is the cure all for not feeling fine due to whichever reason? ) ... Err.. who is this? ( Did I forget to update the phone number of ANY of my friends? )
XYZ: ( In his/her best hurtful tone ) Whaat? Its me! XYZ!!! ( more hurtful accusations follow which I ignore while reading through the latest fwd from my colleagues. Ha ha! that 5th cartoon is sooo funny...)
Me: ( After realizing that XYZ has stopped) So... why did you call me? ( Alrighty then, you were never close to me / liked me much and suddenly developed that lovin' feelin' for me? Huh! So cut the crap and cut to chase, shall we? )
XYZ: Hey! How much is your company offering students on campus?
ME: 8.2 lpa I think. ( I think means that I don't know / choose not to know /and even if my friend did tell me how much we are going to pay, I deliberately erased it from my memory a la Kate Winslet in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind ( more on that movie one of these days.. remind me to talk about it..) )
XYZ: Oh!! My friend wanted to apply to your company...
Me: ( I don't mind you being rude or nasty upfront - at least, not as much as when you turn wimp and bitch about me behind my back or drop idiotic lies. Its better and manly/womanly to tell me upfront that you need the info for your company - or give no excuses.)
Really? Which B School is he from? What is his background? Doesn't he have a campus?
( In that borderline tone which can be interpreted as burning sarcasm or high officialdom. This is the moment I really love - when they squirm, when they blabber and stammer.)
XYZ: Eh.. cant hear you.. bye...
Me: Sure! Call whenever your 'friend' need any info... ( dip.. dip.. dip... that sound my friend, is sarcasm oozing out from my words and dipping to XYZ's ears when he/ she slams he phone down.)
Did the good deed for the day - didn't we?
Wish I could have posted a *.mp3 of the conversation here!
Feel free to ask me information - but atleast lets be honest about what you want! Follow the example of the apainter boy who calls, asks and accepts whatever I tell him without any hemming or hawing.