Thursday, February 08, 2007

Of wimps and humans..

Whoever said that corporate life doesn't have its moments of humour would have never worked in an office.

During the placement season, companies get into the mad frenzy of upping the salaries. Coming from one of the better branded HR courses means that people who never even bothered to keep in touch will call you up one day.



The conversation would go like this. The protective arms around any set of words chronicle my mental audio at that time.



Me: Hello? ( Who is this? I hope I sound polite enough, busy enough and cheerful enough to steer my conversation whichever way).



XYZ: Hiiii... How are you doing? Long time no see....



Me: I'm okay... ( I cant say I'm fine - what if I get more work to do? I cant say I am NOT fine - what if on the other side its my parents who think that marriage is the cure all for not feeling fine due to whichever reason? ) ... Err.. who is this? ( Did I forget to update the phone number of ANY of my friends? )



XYZ: ( In his/her best hurtful tone ) Whaat? Its me! XYZ!!! ( more hurtful accusations follow which I ignore while reading through the latest fwd from my colleagues. Ha ha! that 5th cartoon is sooo funny...)



Me: ( After realizing that XYZ has stopped) So... why did you call me? ( Alrighty then, you were never close to me / liked me much and suddenly developed that lovin' feelin' for me? Huh! So cut the crap and cut to chase, shall we? )



XYZ: Hey! How much is your company offering students on campus?



ME: 8.2 lpa I think. ( I think means that I don't know / choose not to know /and even if my friend did tell me how much we are going to pay, I deliberately erased it from my memory a la Kate Winslet in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind ( more on that movie one of these days.. remind me to talk about it..) )



XYZ: Oh!! My friend wanted to apply to your company...



Me: ( I don't mind you being rude or nasty upfront - at least, not as much as when you turn wimp and bitch about me behind my back or drop idiotic lies. Its better and manly/womanly to tell me upfront that you need the info for your company - or give no excuses.)
Really? Which B School is he from? What is his background? Doesn't he have a campus?
( In that borderline tone which can be interpreted as burning sarcasm or high officialdom. This is the moment I really love - when they squirm, when they blabber and stammer.)



XYZ: Eh.. cant hear you.. bye...



Me: Sure! Call whenever your 'friend' need any info... ( dip.. dip.. dip... that sound my friend, is sarcasm oozing out from my words and dipping to XYZ's ears when he/ she slams he phone down.)



Did the good deed for the day - didn't we?


Wish I could have posted a *.mp3 of the conversation here!

Feel free to ask me information - but atleast lets be honest about what you want! Follow the example of the apainter boy who calls, asks and accepts whatever I tell him without any hemming or hawing.

11 comments:

ursjina said...

aah..definitely i will remind u on eternal sunshine...loved it thoroughly..:)..now dats wat i call craft..

hehe..i guess i shud enrol in a bskool to get interviewed by u..now dat wud be fun..:)

Anonymous said...

good...good...
me happy that u dont want to be used by some xyz crap...

karthik

Nariyal Chutney said...

All parents think that Marriage is this wonderful union which ushers in a beautiful life of companionship , sharing sorrows and celebrating life with somebody from opposite sex. But we know it also involves washing clothes , cleaning diapers , buying vegetables and endlessly boring shopping trips . Is it :) . These friends do call sometimes , it is up to us on what info we shoould provide them.

The Visitor said...

LOL - that was great :D

Richik said...

Zu!! that's ur alias? on the lines of Tsu?? ur leaving a comment on my blog reminded me at some point of time i used to write...and yeah, i guess that shop does stitching for women!! that line reads in the way it is meant to be interpreted!! :-)) which batch are u from?

The Visitor said...

I have left a comment on the Paulo Coehlo post. In case you haven't seen it, I suggest that you receive all the comments on your blog at your e-mail ID (This does not disclose your email id to all).

lakshmi said...

LOL!!

ursjina said...

http://malaysianincanada.blogspot.com/..try readin it when u get time..

The Visitor said...

Hi zu,

The Brownie writes well. I had put up some select posts of hers on cutting chai's blog comment.

Richik said...

if u r what u claim to be, well, then i guess i know u. but then i asked ur batch coz hr ppl who find time to blog in the season of recruitment have much on their plates, ainnit?

blackphoenix said...

surya, thanks a lot for the encouraging words on my blog :)